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Posts Tagged ‘Attitude’

Steering Life’s Speed Bumps

May 7th, 2012

Maria Helm

Resolving personal and professional issues quickly is ideal but not always possible. Here are quick tips to help you focus on what you can control if conflict arises and/or persists:

Your role. Ask yourself, “What have I said or done or not said or done, that has kept this going? Be honest with your answers and change your approach.

Your perception. Dealing with a persistent challenge can become the routine. Stop and reassess your perspective. See if you can find a learning opportunity in the situation.

Your expectations. Your frustrations will decrease when you stop holding others to standards they don’t know they are being measured against.

Your responses. Look for ways to respond that don’t escalate to anxiety. Consider how you want to be seen by others and choose responses accordingly.

Your own story. Give an account without elevating or victimizing anyone. Consider neutral responses that refrain from portraying yourself as a victim.

Your character. Don’t give anyone the power to make you behave in a way that is unbecoming, unethical or dishonorable. Show your best side–always.

Your investment. Simply put, spend less time thinking about it, talking about it and engaging in it.

Your plans for the future. Your plans may include eventually leaving your current work environment or you may decide that staying is the best thing for a secure retirement. Knowing what you want for your future helps you look past your present problems.

Photo Credit: Cindy Seigle via Compfight

Posted in Communication

Tags: Attitude, Resolving conflic

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Carve Out Time for Pursuits That Bring Happiness

March 21st, 2012

Maria Helm

Katherine Hepburn whiled away the long stretches on movie sets by knitting. After putting down her pen, novelist Marjorie Rawlings cooked up plots as she baked pies. Queen Victoria filled dozens of sketchbooks with charming watercolors of her children when not ruling an empire.

But the children call to us. The house calls to us. The work calls to us. When, then, does the poem or the painting call to us?

Probably everyday. But we’re too busy listening to everyone else instead of our selves. Maybe it’s because we’ve convinced ourselves that we really don’t have the time for personal pursuits that bring us happiness if they take longer than fifteen minutes. Perhaps we don’t hear the whispers of longing because we don’t want to hear. If we hear, we might have to acknowledge, even respond. We;re afraid to hear the the promptings of the person who wants to learn how to draw, dance, raise orchids, cook Szechuan. We might have to take a class or buy a pad and pencils, a plant, a fabric, or hoisin sauce. No time to be passionate, we have to be practical. Essential, uncompromisable longing will have to wait until there’s more time; when the children are back in school, when Mom’s feeling better, when things let up at the office.

How about an answer we haven’t heard before? How about, “My true passions will have to wait until I’m ready to admit that pursuing them is essential for my happiness?” How about, “I haven’t learned yet how to put myself on the list of priorities?” Notice I didn’t suggest putting yourself first; I just want to get you on the list.

Space and time to nurture our creativity may be one of our true hungers. Perhaps we think that only food, drink, work, sex, shopping, or pills can reduce the gnawing to a dull throb. But maybe if we took an hour a day to paint, to plot, or to throw pots we wouldn’t be in pain – physical or psychological.

Just maybe.

Photo Credit: YanivG

Posted in Motivation

Tags: Attitude, Fear, Happiness, Self-help

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Ithaka by Constantine Cavafy

January 2nd, 2012

Maria Helm

I first heard of the poem Ithaka by the Greek poet C. P. Cavafy at the funeral of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. I was moved when I heard it not only because it was used as an elegy, but how meaningful it is to our modern lives.

When someone reads the Odyssey he/she should pay close attention to the symbolic meaning of this poem. The Odyssey has a much deeper meaning than what it seems to someone that reads it for the first time. It is not just a story about a fantastic voyage and a guy overcoming some imaginary difficulties and going back home. In the Greek view it is an inner-self quest for rediscovering who you really are; at the same time it is a celebration of the human nature and the capability of achieving your goals, even if it means that you have to go through the most difficult and unexpected obstacles to reach those goals.

As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon – don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon – you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Posted in Goal-setting, Motivation

Tags: Attitude, Goals, Ithaka, Journey, Success

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Contagious Joy

December 8th, 2011

Maria Helm

As the days get shorter and colder, my thoughts turn to cozy nights in front of the fire, hot cocoa, and of course, meals shared with loved ones. The air practically vibrates with good feelings–and not just figuratively.

A study conducted by UC San Diego found that positive emotions–such as happiness felt during the holidays–are contagious. Researchers learned that one person’s joy spread to not only those in his or her immediate circle but also extended to friends of friends too. What they discovered was that happiness creates a domino effect through social networks, and the good feelings that are passed along can last for up to one year.

So I did an experiment of my own to test this theory. I met friends for happy hour. As we traded stories, our conversation was punctuated by outbursts of laughter. A woman not in our group turned to us and said, “You guys are having such a great time, it’s making me feel happy, too!” Apparently our joy that evening was palpable, and her comment proved that our happiness during our happy hour directly impacted more than just those immediately connected with us. Now I may never know if she in turn passed it along to others in her own network. But even if I was able to simply brighten that woman’s evening, I’d call that a success.

Just imagine how many people could be affected this holiday season if each of us spread a little joy to those around us; the positive repercussions are limitless. If our moods have the ability to spread like a virus, it means we’re accountable to more than just ourselves. The old adage “Always remember to be happy. You never know who’s falling in love with your smile’ now takes on a new level of meaning.

Photo Credit: adwriter

Posted in Communication, Motivation

Tags: Attitude, Joy

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How To Motivate Employees To Do The Right Thing

September 6th, 2011

Maria Helm

As a follow-up to my previous post “How to Motivate Clients To Do The Right Thing,” I thought that it will be beneficial for small business owners to motivate their employees to do the same. After all, employees are considered your business’ most valuable asset, right? You want your employees to put in a good day’s work, stick around and help build your business Even better, you want them to want to. So, here’s the carrot approach to consider.

Recognition. Although a raise is always nice, you may be surprised to hear that a little recognition and TLC will go a long way. People don’t always know what the carrot it. A lot of companies think they have to give more money. The real carrot is often announcing at a meeting that this employee has done something special, or a handwritten note from the CEO or owner will do the magic.

Food, glorious food. Food and drink go a long way toward making people feel taken care of. Stock up on snacks like microwave popcorn, chocolate, and flavored water.

Time will get them on your side. A lot of businesses close between Christmas and New Year’s. That works out to three to five bonus days a year. It’s usually a dead time for most businesses anyway, so consider giving your employees a chance to recharge their batteries at the end of the year.

Fit the perk to the workplace. Obviously a policy that works great in one workplace can be a disaster in another. For example if your company is a children clothing manufacturer consider allowing new parents to come to work with their babies; you may find that this practice actually increases productivity of your staff.

And the stick? if an employee is dishonest or consistently deliver poor performance and you think that you’ve given the proper training/coaching, then it’s time to to let the employee go. Before the ultimate decision to terminate is made, company management should spend a few minutes discussing the proposed termination with the company’s general counsel, outside labor counsel or the company’s human resources department. These professionals will see potential pitfalls that the management team may have missed and they can provide a reality check on the reason for termination.

Photo Credit: Bruce Thomson

Posted in Communication

Tags: Attitude, Leadership, productivity, Small Business, Stay motivated, Values

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